When compassion meets resistance. Practicing trust, authenticity & courage in connection
5/28/24
Hello dear ones,
Today- a longer story for reflection and insights. I’ll welcome you as always to settle more into your seat, release some of the urgency that may pull you, gently hone your focus if distracted or fatigued. Perhaps sipping a warm beverage and drawing in fuller, steadier breaths. Take in a bit more space. Deep gratitude and appreciation to you in advance for your kind attention. It is my hope that in sharing you might witness a part of yourself and take away a few lessons as I continue to discover them in myself.
“Whether today is a day of remembering, honoring, celebrating, creating, or waiting, nurturing, unearthing, practicing gratitude or just making it through, there is room, right here for you, to let today be what it needs to be, welcoming the grace that gives you room to breathe. Let today be what it needs to be.” Morgan Harper Nichols.
All my parts came to the Maya show this past weekend as I continued my yoga therapy training alongside responsibilities and inner work. I’d been experiencing prolonged periods of dysregulation, mostly tamasic, meaning dullness and numbing with attempts to self soothe. This dysregulation had eroded a sense of safety in myself and the community I relied on, leaving me struggling with apathy, irritation, some shame spiraling, with increased desire for clarity. The big question:
How do we return to self-compassion when we are in a downward spiral? When our parts are worn, we’ve lost trust in our resources & our sense of tribe, when our senses are so dull that we cannot seem to find the glimpse back to that inner sense of wholeness, barely even remembrance?
A hint from my wisest self- that we can always begin again.
At the time, my authentic voice felt stuck and overwhelmed, with unmet needs for connection leading to isolation. Unexpressed parts were loud inside but unclear and feeling unsafe and rushed, further breeding mistrust and embarrassment.
I needed to reconnect to my yoga, the felt sense from my being less my doing. With a kind witness that I couldn’t source in myself at the time. My rebellious part was resistance and eye-rolling to previously proven remedies like “compassion", “rest” and “self-care”. I had to dig deep. To enact the remembrance (smriti) and a trust in the path, shraddha (faith), a distance remembrance of glimpses of union, support, safety and connection would grow if I kept showing up.
As peers shared their breakthroughs and moments of inspiration, I felt longing with a strong desire to be seen, despite fear evoking shut down. This sparked a call to action to ensure that all emotions are acknowledged, emphasizing the importance of recognizing everyone’s shades. A call to inclusivity for the collective experience.
Wisdom from peers, yogic teachings and Maya Angelou bring me here: If we keep showing up authentically, our tribe will come, and we will continue to strengthen the bond of belonging, first and foremost to ourselves.
By maintaining our commitments with integrity, living our values, and trusting our path, we contribute to the healing of the collective that shares in our similar struggles. Our footprint matters.
By continuing to advocate for our basic needs- safety, connection, adventure, and purpose- and by leaning on our wise discernment, finding and advocating for responsible leadership, supportive peers, and heartfelt accountability in commitments, we strengthen foundation for compassion and collective healing. Honing this foundation, showing up in this effort continues to be my longing, my work, my why. And from this space, Kristen Neff’s return to self-compassion as practice- mindfulness, kindness, and common humanity- can be better integrated.
Lean into support that is spacious, unrushed, and kind. Knowing that we deserve to receive in the ways that we give. We are all connected, a part of the same whole. We glimpse, and try, and glimpse, and try- enacting that human spirit. All in the process of our own cleansing, we lessen the residue of our lived experience to rediscover our light. This light within you to shine through once more, open, honest, and strong. Unapologetically receiving that shine in kind.
“There is room, right here for you. To let today be what it needs to be, welcoming the grace that gives you room to breathe.” MHN
Let’s continue to hone our shine together. The comments are now open for you to share, I’d love to hear from you! Here with you in practice, and in love & light.
-Maya
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